The SHOT show diet plan

 

I think that Bruce Campbell should be the "King of all men"

Click on pic to enlarge

This is my way to lose weight, works every year

Step One. Say set up for the show is the 16th, you want to start packing a few days before. Because you can't find everything you need, spend those two days digging under the couch, in the garage, going back and forth to your storage mini warehouse, eat one meal a day because your so busy.

Step Two. On the 12th, Fly to Texas to meet up with the rest of your team and "get ready" 

Have the car service pick you up so early that even McDonald's drive thru is not open. Be at the airport at such an ungodly hour in the morning that the airport "restaurants" (I use that term lightly) are closed. Make sure that you only leave enough time in your layover that you have to run frantically thru the Atlanta airport to get to your next flight. When you finally get to TX, wait an hour to get picked up at the airport (smoke lots of cigarettes here)

Spend every waking minute working on finishing up projects that have to be done for the show.

( one's that should have been done in Dec.)

Then spend all your other time working on last minute brain storms that sounded good at 2 am.

Remember to eat dinner at midnight
.

Step Three. Leave for Las Vegas on the afternoon of the 12th, it's only a 20 hour drive. Eat drive thru crap to save time. 

Step Four.  Get lost on a "Short Cut" add 4 hours sitting on your ass in the back seat with a migraine.

Step Five. Get to wonderful and glorious LV, go to the Sands, drive around it a few times before someone can figure out were you need to be, find out that you have to go wait at the weigh in station, 5 miles down the road from the Sands, wait there for a hour, then go and wait at the "staging area" for 3 hours, then drive around and around and around the Sands because no one has a FU&*ING clue were you should go. Do not eat at all during this fun exercise.

Step Six. Get to the hotel and get checked in just before midnight, have a wonderful 30.00 dinner of crappy fries and a burger in the coffee shop.

Step Seven. Get up early so you can set up and spend some down time before the show, don't eat breakfast because you know you will be finished before lunch time and can go and get a good meal. Run into one thing after another so you are still setting at the show at 7:30 PM waiting for a package that was shipped to the hotel. Eat at the hotel buffet and crash.

Step Eight. Show starts at  8:30 AM. that's AM, in Las Vegas for Christ's sake.

Get up at 6, SSS and be at the booth at 7. Don't eat breakfast, too busy for lunch. Show ends at 5:30 pm, try and pack 20,000 people into a 25 ft wide hall way, all of them tired and hungry to escape the convention center, get run over by that damned old lady on the hoveround. (were can I get one of those?)

Get back to the hotel, eat at the buffet because you to tired to leave the hotel, don't get your moneys worth 

( like I can eat 25.00 worth of that swill)

because your ass is dragging and you don't want to stand in another line.

Repeat this process for the 4 wonderful days at SHOT.

Step Nine Load out on the last day, break down and pack everything in an hour, wait 5 hours for the teamsters to tell you it will be a few hours more and they will load your pallets, send everyone else off to eat and get the truck and tell them not to worry, you are just going to sit there, the teamsters will load the pallets. Once everyone leaves make sure the teamsters come back and drop the pallets for you and then tell you "we don't load pallets pal, were teamsters, we will be back in 20 minutes for them."  Load all five pallets with the 1000 pounds of display yourself. Then load the trailer. Go to the room and pass out.

Step 10. For the trip home, acquire the L1V2010 Virus, start getting sick in the truck some were in AZ. Continue getting sick for the whole drive, then the flight home, then for two weeks after your home.

I LOST  16

POUNDS AND SO CAN YOU IF YOU FOLLOW THESE TEN BASIC STEPS

As you can tell it was another fun trade show, I did get to meet some great new friends, reestablished some old acquaintances and told some funny stories at the hotel bar.
Our sales team worked hard and did just about everything right. You can't ask for anymore than that.

You will never be around a greater group of people than at SHOT, it's great to think that there are 50,000 humans that love guns in those few square miles.

I raise my glass of NyQuil to seeing your all again next year.

Have a safe and happy 2010